I can't sleep. I have to be up in 3 hours for class. It's making me super anxious. I have so much to get done tomorrow because tomorrow night Lucas is taking me to meet the Detroit Red Wings, once again! I'm very excited! If only I could actually get sleep. I worked tonight, had the most unreal table.. and it honestly made my night living hell. Can't wait to have the next two days with my man. I need an overdose of Lucas. And some well deserved fun. I also need to find a halloween costume for work. Super random, but.. last night I had a dream that it was my 30th birthday.. Lucas was 33, we were married, lived in this gorgeous house and 3 little kids. Usually my dreams are insane and crazy.. but last night, it was peaceful and not very eventful. When I woke up.. I was seriously scared out of mind. Not because I don't want any of that.. believe me, I do.. but I'm swear I have never met anyone that is as terrified of growing up as I am. I have it all planned out, I'm going to have a great life and there's not doubt about that. I wish there were more hours in a day and more days in the week. Time keeps passing. I look back at memories and its no longer "a year or two ago" its "four or fives yesrs ago". Im going to be 20 this year. I will no longer be a teenager. Even though I live an adult life, I'm not ready to not be a teenager. People I talk to who are in their mid-late 20's think I'm crazy and they say "I wish I could be 20 again"... exactly why I dont want to get older.. I never want to miss being young and free. So all these girls my age that have kids, enjoy motherhood!.. because while its perfectly normal for someone without a kid to do whatever they want.. its not okay for a mother to do. I will spend the next few years doing as much as possible with my life. I want to have fun and be free... because when I'm a wife and a mom, I'm going to live my life for my family. I never want to wish i had time to go out or blah blah blah. I have time now, and I dont want to waste it. Ugh, why is the future so scary? Wow. I really need to figure out how to fall asleep, fast. Class will be a struggle tomorrow.
I wasn't lying when I said that I wanted to get back into blogging. However, life took multiple turns and I've been too busy to sit down at my computer and produce a decent blog post. It can't hurt to fill in anyone that still reads my blogs, but might not closely follow me on social media. After TWO years of being single and not being into the idea of dating anyone, I'm actually in a relationship. I know at the beginning of a relationship it's expected to be in the state that you feel like you've never been happier. The difference is, I've known my boyfriend for 11 years. When we were young, we'd always act like a couple. We never had a "title" back then no matter how many times we reconnected. Seven months ago, he finally moved back home. I was so excited to have him back in my life. Then I realized that I wasn't okay with just being his friend. After about 5 months of blowing him off and him giving up trying to hang out, I finally ex...
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